Self-Love in Chaotic Times (or How to Hug Yourself Without Looking Weird)
Because the world’s on fire, and you still deserve a nap.
So how do we practice self-love when the world is burning, the group chat is chaos, and your sourdough starter died in 2020 and never recovered?
1. Lower the Bar. Seriously.
The problem with self-love is that it sounds like an achievement. Like it belongs next to “run a marathon” or “learn Mandarin.” But maybe self-love is more about micro-acts of kindness than grand epiphanies.
Did you feed yourself something vaguely nutritious today? You’re doing great.
Did you put on pants before noon? A triumph.
Did you decide not to text that one person who’s basically emotional caffeine — exhilarating but ultimately dehydrating? That’s Nobel Prize-level growth.
You don’t have to adore every freckle on your face while reciting affirmations into a ring light. Sometimes self-love just means saying, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
2. Stop Trying to Earn Your Own Affection
Many of us treat self-love like a rewards program. I’ll love myself after I get promoted, lose ten pounds, or finally start journaling in cursive. Spoiler: none of those things will make your inner critic shut up. It just finds new material.
Self-love isn’t something you earn; it’s something you allow. You don’t have to qualify for it. The application was approved the day you were born — lifetime membership, no expiration date.
Try this radical thought: what if you’re not a project to be fixed, but a person to be befriended?
3. Curate Your Chaos
Chaos is inevitable — but some chaos is optional. You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. You can unsubscribe from misery. Mute that one overly ambitious productivity influencer who makes you feel like you’re always five tasks behind.
Make room for tiny silences. Listen to your own thoughts before the algorithm drowns them out.
And if your brain is too loud, talk to it like a slightly feral roommate. “Hey buddy, I see you’re catastrophizing again. Let’s take a walk before we spiral, okay?” Humor turns the volume down faster than meditation apps ever could.
4. Romanticize the Ordinary
Some days, self-love is just making your morning coffee like it’s a sacred ritual. Or lighting a candle for no reason other than it smells like “Peaceful Person Who Has Their Life Together.”
Notice small things: how sunlight lands on your messy kitchen counter, how your favorite mug feels in your hand. Life isn’t waiting for you to get it together — it’s happening right now, in the crumbs and imperfections.
If you can find a little tenderness in that, you’ve already mastered a form of love that no algorithm can teach.
5. Laugh at the Absurdity
Let’s face it — being a person is ridiculous. We’re anxious little mammals trying to find meaning between tax deadlines and TikTok trends. If you can laugh at that, even a little, you’re free.
Humor is self-compassion wearing clown shoes. It reminds you that you’re not broken — just delightfully human.
So the next time you drop your phone on your face in bed, or accidentally send an email that ends with “love you” to your boss, take it as proof: you’re alive, imperfect, and absolutely lovable.
In the End…
Self-love in chaotic times isn’t about bubble baths and mantras (though, by all means, take the bath). It’s about remembering that you deserve kindness even when you’re tired, messy, or mid-meltdown.
The world will keep spinning wildly — but you can still be gentle with yourself. You can still find laughter in the noise.
Because sometimes the most radical thing you can do in a frantic world is whisper, “I’m enough, even here, even now.”
And then maybe — just maybe — put your phone on airplane mode for an hour.